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January 2009
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About Me

my name is essence Master gave me this name when We first started exploring together i was not always a submissive woman or should i say i did not discover this side of me until i met the most wonderful Man i know. We met online almost 4 years ago i knew little of the D/s lifestyle We were first friends, talking for months… to meeting in real… becoming lovers. We've been living together for a year now.  i call Him Daddy.
you can email me at essence at subessence.com

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Diary of a Daddy’s girl

Master calls me essence… for i am the essence of His love… and He is the essence of my being…

And the sun still shines…

It’s been a few weeks, i’ve been keeping busy. Fall has arrived, which means Halloween is around the corner. i for one, love Halloween, not so much the candy part, but i love sewing costumes for my children. So i have kept busy with that, and spending time with them and my Daddy.

my friend who passed away, was also a seamtress, she got such joy from seeing my kids at her door every Halloween. The week before she passed she was voicing how much she loved seeing them to a few of us, and i had made a note that her house would be the first on our list to go to. i will still go there, as planned and let her husband know we will keep up that tradition.

Life goes on, but she has made a HUGE impact. Her passing was a very emotional time for so many. The services were packed and it showed how many lives she had touched. Honestly, it was so overwhelming to see. She will not be forgotten. More importantly, her family should not be forgotten, it is now that they need the support more than ever. Her youngest son, is the same age as my oldest son, it made my son feel something that i don’t think he had ever thought of before… what if that was my mom? He lives just a few houses down from hers at his dad’s. He found out she had passed and called me up, very upset and wanting to know if i needed him to come home for me, i smiled deeply and thought, my son needs his mom, but i made him think yes, i needed him. He came running home to mom. We cried and cried, and i held him for all the fears he has and for the pain this brought up. You see, my oldest has been through some of the most painful times with me, we both lost 2 people very dear and significant in our lives. His adored Uncle (my brother) and his beloved Grandmother (my mom). Nothing hurts more than to see your child in such pain and you can’t take it away. So here was my child, crying for his losses and for the boy who lost his mother just so close to his home and for fear of what he could lose. i held him tight, we talked of so many things. i let him believe that i needed him and i did, but deep down i knew he needed his mom and just couldn’t admit it. This still makes me my heart dance.

i believe with everything we experience good or bad, there comes a lesson. With my friend’s passing i learned alot about inner strength, she had such strength, she was preparing everyone for her departure with such love, compassion, and what courage! this was something i had never seen before. i learned that family is so important, and i haven’t spoken to/or seen some of mine since my mother’s passing. It has made me look reflect on this ALOT.

Last, yes, this brought up feelings of my own losses, especially my mother. i reached out to my friend’s children, knowing the loss they feel, i feel that loss daily. my mother left a mark of love on me, and i could see that my friend had done the same with her children. my son reaching out to me the way he did…

i hope and i pray that i leave as big of a mark of love on my children as these brave women did. They were both incredible women.

There is another big bright shining star in the heavens now.

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