Master had me write this in early Sept. We had a rough spot so to speak… but i also feel that was a big turning point for me to really take a hard look at my issues of trust… and from that allowing me to deepen my submission to Master… i realize looking over my site… i write alot of the deep bond we have… the tough times i have not been able to share too much… it is not always easy being a submissive… but it is from those times that i come out of it stronger and my bond with Master deepens… strengthens… part of Our growth together…

What i desire in a Master….

A Protector
i think of a protector and there some qualities that come to mind for this.. One that is trustworthy… with all of me… not just physically.. but emotionally, mentally…my heart, my body, my mind, my spirit, along with that is One that is responsiblemature…. the more i read about a M/s relationship, a Master has alot of responsibility caring for a submissive… i want to feel safe …knowing i can tell Him everything and i won’t be judged…and it won’t be used against me…. looking out for me…

A Teacher-Mentor

One with experience and knowledge… One that is strong, gentle but firm in teaching me.. One that i can talk to freely about anything and everything i may have questions about… being able to express myself …guidance… i am entering an extremely important role…that i want to do to the fullest…a good communicator…i think in any relationship that is extremely important… good communication.. consistent..stable…i think consistency and stability is important in all things…otherwise confusion sets in… understanding… i am not perfect… i will make mistakes…respect is equally as important… it is needed in any type of relationship… both involved

A Lover
One full of love, desire, passion, compassionate, tender…but also open to explore… giving… not just in love… but in affection.. patience, kindness..loving…appreciated for all i am attempting to do… love should never be taken for granted in any aspect but held close to the heart and above all else…

A Friend-Companion
good listener… One that that i can come to…talk to about just the little things even… spending time with…One that i can just be comfortable with

A Daddy…

i want to feel loved, cherished … like His most prized possession.. His princess…. His girl… i want to feel safe …knowing i can tell Him everything and i won’t be judged…and it won’t be used against me….unconditional love knowing He is always my Safe Haven… waiting with arms open to love me for me…. all of me… trusting Him …knowing He has my best interest at heart.

submission means to give up control to Your Dom. Your Dom is complete control and takes full responsibility for you. By surrendering all to Him, mind, body and spirit for Him to train You to fullfill His needs. As a sub you must learn your Dom’s needs so that you can anticipate Them. As a sub you must follow the rules set up for you by your Dom and follow them and accept the punishment that is given if you are disobedient. Be respectful to your Dom, speak respectfully, it is ok to ask questions. Loyalty is important to your Dom, do not speak badly of Him to others and do not let others speak badly of Him. you must be open and honest with your Dom and never have secrets. as a bottom you should never try to top Your Dom or manipulate Him.

What i have to offer….

this is always difficult for me…..i don’t know why…..i know i have a lot of good qualities…just hard for me to describe myself…maybe it’s shyness, maybe it’s lack of self esteem…confidence in who i am…who i am becoming…over the years i have not felt alot of self worth….anyways…here it goes…what i have to offer… myself

mind
i have yet alot to learn about being a submissive…submission can be difficult to do hundreds of miles away… i try my best… learning my Master’s every need…i am willing to learn..i have a desire to learn… an even stronger desire to please my Master…i am a pleaser… always have been but it’s been one sided in the past… and i was left with a complete feeling of emptiness… i am becoming more and more open… i do know i still have a long way to go… i know sometimes i hold back…. afraid to express my thoughts… fear of judgment… i need to clear past teachings… beliefs…molding a mind begins at a young age… i was raised where the man was the head of the household… society…peers…influence and distort things… i realize this takes time and patience from both of Us….giving You my mind takes trust and a strong belief in You to care for it with the greatest knowledge..understanding…patience…

i am giving my mind for You to mold… to please You Master…

body
hmmm my body… i have not been real fond of (or real kind to) my body over the past… but over the last few years i have been back on track to caring for it… i have struggled with my self image for a long time… and even though i have lost 90+lbs… i still see that fat girl when i look in the mirror… and i know that it is not how i really look on the outside but it is still how i feel on the inside… i have read that it takes time for the mind to catch up with the body in what they see… i don’t like my body pretty much… i want to change it… and i think the biggest reason i don’t like it… is i didn’t take care of it when it needed taking care of the most… i was unable to … it was a time where i was taking care of everyone else and no one was caring for me…

now giving my body to You Master, i have to care for it… keeping it fit..clean..waxed… doing everything how You like it.. so that when You look upon me ..You are pleased… and it gives You pleasure… making You proud..

i am giving You my body Master… for You to use whenever…and however it would please You…

along with the body is my heart
now as i sit here and just typed that… tears spring to my eyes… this above all is my most precious thing… my heart… it is one full of such love and hope for the future… full of passion and desire for You Master… going deeper than anything i have ever felt before…

i feel that i have a good heart… a big heart… it is one of great compassion & empathy for others…sometimes too much that i end up not watching out for it… this is where i need You Master… as my Protector… to Protect my heart along with the rest of me… my Safe Haven..

i am a nurturer by nature… been told that many times… to be that it does take great compassion… i want to care for You Master…

i can be impulsive and not think things through completely… going on emotion.. rather than looking at everything and making the best decision… another place i need You… as my Mentor/Teacher… my Daddy…Your experience, maturity.. and guidance is needed…

i am giving You my heart Master… to hold close, cherish, nurture, encourage, and to protect

spirit
this i feel includes the soul… as spirit is the conscious life mediating between body and soul…this also ties in the heart… as it is a big influence in the heart… our feelings…moods..

i feel that for the most part… i have a strong spirit…i feel things very deeply…sometimes too deeply… i think in the past… my spirit was held down for a very long time… it was not able to soar as it use to as a child… things happen in life that can dampen it… make it stay on the ground and afraid to really spread its wings and soar… again tears come to my eyes… realizing how my spirit over the years has been grounded… not by choice but from someone else’s distorted control… my spirit more than my heart has been deeply wounded… wow… typing that out… just really hit home… it has not been my heart that hasn’t healed… it’s been my spirit that has not found it’s wings again…wow… tears really come now… i have never thought about that… i have always felt that it was my heart that had not healed… huge moment of realization… as tears flow freely…

i want my spirit to soar again… freely… typing this all out… Master… it is all the things You offer that my spirit needs… A Protector, Mentor, Teacher, Guidance, Lover, Friend, Companion.. and a Daddy… to let that lil girl in me find herself again, spread her wings again… and really soar… and this time when i do… i know it is with Your Love, Guidance that i soar above everyone else… and not just alone but with You… holding my hand..

i give You my spirit Master… to build up again.. with new wings… to fly with You…

Master… along with this…. i want to give it all to You as well… i want to be Your safe haven as well, i want to hold, cherish, love, protect Your heart, i want to take care of You, support You, nurture You…i want to be Your lover, companion, Your friend… i want to be Your naughty babygirl… Your submissive…giving all of myself to You… to be Your everything…

i love You Master with all that i am….i will do my best to make You proud….